What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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