Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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