I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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