I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he fucked my hip out of place.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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