You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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