Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize