he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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