I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
