She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I need to sanitize my soul.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
do nipples grow back?
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