i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
