u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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