Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
