Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
