And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize