Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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