It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
