Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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