He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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