So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
