the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
