White coat. Heels.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
