what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
