Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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