He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
