I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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