Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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