I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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