Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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