So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
