My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
