He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize