Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
