oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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