I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
wow bdsm is so cute
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