Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
