Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
