She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
