Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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