I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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