we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
