Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
