My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
