Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
