Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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