Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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