Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
