You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize