This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
