Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i now understand why vodka
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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