I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
