where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
