Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize