he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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