Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
