but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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