dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize