U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
