i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
