Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
