Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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