You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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