Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's blow job season.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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