So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
