I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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