Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
