Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I need water and some morals
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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