The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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