Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
