you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
did you just send me my own nude
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
