tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
What a dumb baby whore.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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