My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
