im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
