If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
