porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
