remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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