I wannas sexs uuuuu
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize