She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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