One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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