I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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